Have you ever watched something that broke your heart? For me, the series Station Eleven on the streaming service Max recently caught my attention.
I'm drawn to dystopian shows that explore humanity's resilience. But the heartbreak that accompanied watching Station Eleven was unexpected. It premiered in December 2021, when COVID-19 and the Omicron variant were at their peak. Do you recall those days? The fear was palpable as we grappled with the reality of a mutating virus that had claimed so many lives.
I didn't watch the show then. I was dealing with my heartbreak, my own trauma. Processing through starting a new venture and losing an old friend.
I decided to stream the show now because I wanted to see how these artists portrayed biological tragedy in the shadow of COVID-19. During my stop at Station Eleven, I re-discovered how calamity terrifies us. It forces us to reflect on what's important in life. I remember those days, so scarred, so uncertain if we should leave the house, terrified that we would contract this virus and lose everything we held dear. It can also bring out the worst in us.
We don't really talk much about Covid any longer.
Recently, Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared on Capitol Hill for a Congressional Hearing, which turned into a sideshow. Many Republican lawmakers accused him of criminal actions, and Democratic lawmakers sang his praises. Outside of Dr. Fauci's new book, the purpose of his appearance was to raise awareness about how we need to prepare ourselves if we ever enter another Pandemic. Needless to say, that point was lost amongst the wrangling of political pontificators pandering to their parties.
We've lost something.
We've lost so much.
In our hurry. In our desire. In our pain.
We lost something.
Grief comes in stages. That's what people say. Grief comes in waves.
Waves.
Crashing upon the shores of life. Dragging the unsuspecting and unprepared out to sea.
So, where do we go from here? We find ourselves—or at least I found myself—being drawn back into our pain by watching a show about a global pandemic.
Station Eleven is a book published in 2014 and adapted into a miniseries that aired Max. The show follows several characters and their lives before and after the flu pandemic disseminates the population of Earth. It’s a complex show, and I will give it a trigger warning: it does not shy away from dealing with grief, loss, and human experience.
I wrote this piece after watching the third episode of the miniseries. This episode focuses on two characters (Miranda Carrol and Arthur Leander), who were briefly introduced in the first episode but are fully explored here. Carrol, played by the uber-talented Danielle Deadwyler, star of the movie Till, offers up the premier performance of the show amid great performers. This article reflects the frenzied and chaotic nature of processing through grief and loss. I hope that you take time to re-read it slowly. Maybe even out loud.